Christmas wishes.

Dear Father Christmas.

For Christmas- please could you remove the following words from internet handles of females across the universe: sexy, angel, cute and cat/kat(unless their birth name is in fact Kat or Katherine). If its not too much trouble- could you also inform the majority of them that they are neither sexy, nor cute. If they wish to pursue their angelic status could you please ask them to take a purity test. After this is done please make a list of all the girls that got over 98% pure, line them up and shoot them in the face to ensure they do in fact become Angels. Let's not kid, they cant have it both ways hey!?

Many thanks,