Damn- 6 months is too long.

Well....6 months have gone by.

A trip to South Africa for Christmas - an exceptionally LONG 10 days. I lovemy fam, but damn i love my independence.

In that time, ive also been up to Tokyo like three times.

My cousin Chris has visited me and generally things are rolling along as usual.


Im at a new school now - where Ned used to work at before. It's all going along swimmingly. The kids however are a tiiiiny bit like my kids in my second school. Well off (financially), educated by Juku, and lazy as hell. But, they're bright - so im gonna try harness that a little bit.

Ive been getting more and more into my gaming (40k and Airsoft) recently - though airsoft "season" is sadly over (thanks to the monstrously sized bugs and creatures that come out in the Japanese summer and spring).

Check out youtube.com and do a search for "hanayama survival" fun times.

More later.

A man scream.

What a start to a day.

I receive the following in a mail from my friend Adrian:

READ BEFORE CLICKING ON THE LINK:
There are two identical pictures that will appear on the screen. Over 8000 people were tested to see if they could find the 3 differences and only 19 got it. See how observant you are and if you find all 3 differences, you are one of the most elite people in the world!
\ http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf

Now, before you continue reading - click and see if you can do it.
Make sure your speakers are on. Mine were on REALLY loudly.
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Now....that probably didnt freak you out half as much as it did me.

Let me explain the heights at which my abject terror peaked.
Firstly, my sound was on FUCKING loud. Too loud in fact, but it was morning, i was just checkin mail then gonna run. So, I clicked.

I concentrated SOOO fucking hard. I was like, im gonna do this shit.

Then, suddenly this deathly scream pierces my living room and a demonic deathly face practically jumps out my huge flatscreen monitor.

I screamed.

I didnt jump....or...go. "WHOAH!"

I screamed.

In my defense it was a manly scream. Kinda like a "AAAARGRGGHHH" more than a "KYAAA".

But i fucking screamed.

I froze up, my body stiffened and I tried to hit the fucking X in the top right of the corner to close the page- but my arm was so stiff. I couldnt look at the screen...I had to focus on the X for fear of death.

During those brief few seconds my perception of the world around me cascaded and waved and wobbled. I couldnt tell reality from fiction for a brief time. My eyes actually welled up a little bit from the sudden emotional sledgehammer.

I wanted to cry- but..didnt need to....really fucked up feeling. Actually cant explain how freaked i was.

But, you guysare probably going- you fuckin wussy. Honestly though. Insanity.


So..

Hisashiburi. (Long time no see)

Its been a mad long time. Too much has happened in the last 6 or so months that have passed.

Im still single. Kinda. Kinda in the sense that I dont have a girlfriend but not in the sense that there aren't people about.

Summer was wild. Possibly the most fun i've had in Japan to date. It was also possibly the busiest time i've ever had in Japan.

We got a new bunch of JET teachers. To date, the wildest, most fun, energetic bunch i've seen. Fantastically good looking to boot.

Ive been trucking along with nothing much new to report. I havent wanted to bitch and moan as much as I have in the past.

Im at a new school now.
Its quite tough. The kids are all problem cases. But not like the two previous schools ive had. Its like a 3rd catergory. The first was outta-control smart kids, second was in-control "booksmart" kids with no personality. Now im at a school where the kids are thick as pigshit (horrible thing to say). But, im honestly quite suprised at the level difference. I was purposelyi placed here though >_< Damn them.
They said its a tough school- but I should be able to handle it.

So far it hasnt been too bad- but im having problems really getting in with the kids.

The only bad thing thats happened to date is a kid told me to fuck off and die. In Japanese. If he said it in English he woulda gotten a shiny gold star - not a kick in the neck like I did.

Other than that Ive been BB-gunning again. That was fuck off cool. Went with a new JET and a 2nd year JET. They both did really well. Its awesome to see some people actually interested in it.

I was tres pissed though- on account my gun is now ILLEGAL. Im actually a criminal in Japan at present. Awesome. Basically last month they changed the legal power limit on the electric guns.
You cant have guns that operate more at more than a Joule of energy (Its related to the speed of the bullet- they dont measure fps or m/s they measure Joules of energy). Anyways, the legal limit is 0.98. My gun is at 1.05 . Most factory stuff is between 0.65 and 0. 80.

Im also now in the possession of the following:

1x Ingram (the small one)
1x H&K SG1 (modded like a biaatch)
1x M60 (pretty coo)
1x H&K MP5k (with supressor - does fuck all)
1x Desert Eagle (Not so hot in winter)
1x Bolt action sniper rifle with silencer- not powerful- but damn its fun
1x Tactical Launcher - shotgun like thingit. Really really fun.

Most of it is mounted ala hick fashion on my walls. Just for lack of space really (or at least thats the story im sticking to).

What else? Erm- i'll be heading over to the UK in about 4 weeks time. Ill be taking part in my first major (ie: non mickey-mouse) tournament. Im really hoping I can put my money where my mouth is for this. Ive been playing here and at home and cleaning up, but you get used to your friends style of play or your friends army types and also dont get as wide a spectrum.
Im keen to see how I fare in the UK GT. Really need to do well I feel. Gambarimasu.

Anyways- ill try write again soon

Update.

Interesting how when one looks back at things you kinda think twice.
Ive spoken to the ex since the last post which I wrote on March 11th.

I didnt mention how I obtained my information as that woulda led to cataclysmic explosions. But, she outright denied it with the vehemency and righteousness that only truth or insanity-based denial can provide. Im currently leaning towards the latter based only on too many conflicting reports and similar situations rearing their ugly heads.

I fucked around. I know that. She knows that. She made the right choice. And she should have done it a long time ago. Sad thing is, I dont believe she really knows how much she changed me. Too little too late.

Anyways.
Learning for life.

*sigh*

Thats a fantastic emote if I ever saw one. Maaaan, karma's a bitch.
Remember the monkies in trees post I ddi way back in January 2005. Well- guess what. The gf (who is now the ex gf) was a big fucking monkey. Also found out she was a liar and a cheater.

Which now brings her down to my level of scumming- only she made out to be she was innocent and a victim.

Strangely enough, although I bitch about that- I don't really "care". I mean- it grates me. It really fucking burns. But, usually i'd process and get rid of it. The shit thing is that I jsut cant. She owes me 190,000 yen. Thats like $1800US. And....shes being wierd about it. Its fucking grating me man.

I have this screwed up theory. It doesn't make sense...well...at least it doesn't to anyone else. I'm a true believer in intention. (Guess ppl like me are a reason there is a saying "the Road to hell...")

What i mean by that is - if a gf i was with cheated on me, because i was being cold- i wasnt giving her sex, i wasnt doing something- then- its not ok, but its understandable to me. Does she still love me? Does she still want me and only me? Then I can forgive. I do believe mistakes happen- because ive been there. I've made them. I have also grown. And I believe that we create the situations that can create bad situations ;)

Biggest betrayal for me was not finding out that my ex fucked another guy when i was still with her. But, that she was actively looking for someone else while still with me. Sad to say...i just didnt expect it in this relationship from this person.

She played herself as the total opposite of what japanese girls are really like....and turned out she was exactly the same.
Im not innocent. I never was. And as Jay said I "deserve this" but that doesnt make it any easier.

The fact that she still owes me this money and that she has now disconnected her phone makes it even tougher. *meeeeh* I feel like tearing my insides out.
>_<

ps: on a side note- i had kobe beef last night. That rocked.

Random Stuff

Monday morning. One week on. In an exceptionally wierd head space at the moment. Feeling bound in my freedom. Able yet unwilling. Counting Crows provides a bit of solace. The world just opened up its floodgates of experience and I think i'm freaking out a bit.

Wierd that when you know (or feel/think you know) what you want it becomes a bit more difficult to get that.

Ever since highschool i've had this intrinsic "upgrade" thing going inside my head. (Sounds harsher than it is) I think its natural- i'm sure everyone has it. Essentially, you date someone. When/if that goes bad (as it usually tends to in highschool) one proceeds to date the next person- as you do. But, the next person can't or at the least shouldn't be "less than" (in most respects) your previous. If it is, you'll become unhappy. Why? You're settling. You've experienced more, so how can you be happy with less.

Tough thing after a long, long relationship and after a long time of searching before that is wondering wether or not A: you will find it again and B: how bloody quickly you can.

Currently,i'm not looking. Not interested. Not saying there arent fanciable people there. But at the end of the day- what's a shag really?

On the lighter side of things the weekend was interesting. Went out all night for the first time in.....*thinks*....for the first time in about 6 or 7 months maybe 8.
Not to hook up, but just to chill. What a cool experience. What that I felt i've been craving for a long time. Just the freedom and the absence of guilt for simply speaking to a member of the opposite sex.

Saturday was the Yakiniku. It does deserve a defininte article. The Yakiniku is always good, good, good. Transcendantly so. That was coupled with back spasms and wierd stomach cramps. Either related to the alcohol from the night before or stress (possibly a combination).
I had to pack all her stuff, as she was coming the next day to get it. That was after Euro trip at the Jon's (read: his gfs) place.

Sunday-ratail therapy. She came to fetch the rest of her things while I was out. One accrues a large amount of stuff whilst co-habitating - so, I assume she had a mate with a car to help her out. Bryan bought a gun. That was cool. MP5 SD5. Super sexy gun. Second hand, but - its all good.

Anywho. Now is work. If one can call it that. Off to download TOA application form. Rock on.

Creativity....

Or the bliding, startling, excessive, entirely avoidable, economy crippling, soul stifling, humour crushing, off-pissing, full of shit..

LACK there of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damnit. I, just this second, walked out of my 2nd grade class (it's finished- i didnt leave it or anything).

This school (and particularly this grade) amoung all others i've taught have a very, very distinct problem. From the first lines of this post you may understand what it is.

Now, when I set a task that is there to aid thinking, creativity and add a bit into the mix- only to be shot down...

My task was to make a telephone conversation between 3 people. I was shot down in the class by the teacher who said it would not be a good idea on acount of the fact that the conversation parts would not be shared equally.

Look- the teacher just came in now to say we fucked up anway- cause we hadnt taught the previous lesson (the one that came before it- hence the lack of response....but still- they could do it.)

Anywho- back to the moaning. As I said- this school in general suffers from a severe lack of creativity. It's reflective in their everyday conversation and of course in their art. If you can call it that.

So, understandably, when I want to do something that will engage the students and get them to do more than plug in and rinse and repeat. GRrrr.

My mate Ned did a talk recently on American vs. Japanese schooling. Now, the fundamental point he made which couldn't be more accurate is this:

Japanese schools teach kids what to do. What to answer, what to say, what to plug in.
American (everywhere else actually) schools teach kids what to answer and WHY !

Why is the least asked question in Japan. NO-ONE will ask it. Very, very distressing. I can't believe that this country is still functioning in a first world capacity I really can't.

Gantz btw. Random insert- but strangely related. I saw an episode last night. The first one. Its an anime- reasonably new- but OH MY WORD. What unbelievable cultural insight and critique. There may be hope. Four thumbs up. Check it out.