So many things....

Weeeell- its been a while since i last wrote. Nothing of great importance in my life has happened. But every so often i have an epiffany (sp?) of one or another sort. I want to write it down- but dont have access at that time. Anyways - this past week has shown a flurry of mad events.

1. One of the biggest typhoons to hit Japan fucked us up a bit last wednesday. (Sadly) Killing over 70 people. Sadly also the majority of those deaths are likely to have been caused by stupidity. (People falling off their houses whilst trying to fix their roof tiles in the gale force wind- lets not joke here.)

2. Friday saw the most deadly (not sure of the body count- maybe around 17 last check) earthquake up in Niigata. A few of the SA Jets are there. They are a bit shaken up, but otherwise in good health.

3. On a brighter, happier note- we had our culture day on Saturday. This was SOOOo reminscient of the Bishops Eisteddfod....it was crazy. Basically like a general cultural thing. Arts, crafts, drama, brass-band(which is more accurately "the ochestra") and erm..what else- oh..a mad singing competition much like the singing night at Bishops. Very exciting.

Less exiciting however, was the fact that my JTE asked me on Friday morning (asked=told ) that i would be partaking in the 2nd year teachers song. Of course the song was Japanese. of course she knew about it before. Of course she neglected to tell me until the last minute. Loooovely. Anyways- after listening to the song for about 10 times and having the lyrics written out in romaji...it was doable.

Another thing that was conveniently neglected to inform me that friday was SUIT day !!! So arrived in smart casual gear- and EVERYONE was kitted up in their best suits. Again- not a happy camper.

Weekends over though. So.- yeah....back laters.

Uncle Graham

Uncle Graham is a bank manager. He is also a rough, hard bastard that doesnt give a shit about (almost) anyone or anything. He says it like it is and how he feels- even if its wrong, even if its to the detriment of family harmony.

A long while back he said at a family braai (bbq- for those inept in SA-speak) :
The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side my pal. You know why ?
Cause there's a lot of SHIT there !

Now- i use this as the base for my next (leftist) rant.

SA as a country is in a lot of poo. We have troubles coming out of our ears and noses and any other viable orrafice. It sad. The government hasn't done much to aid this. And sadly as an educated white person in SA your chance of changing it is slim to bloody none.
(cue rant music- or "Eye of the Tiger")
But that doesnt mean you can't do something about for fucks sake. For starters quit bitching. Especially if you're under 18. What the fuck do you know!? You're just spewing out shit you heard from your parents or saw some backwards oldskool rightist farmer spew out during an interview. (I've been chatting a bit on IRC recently- and other internet forums- fucking frustrating)

You know. And even if you have managed to live outside of SA for more than 1 year (in the same place) that doesnt mean you're an expert on shit. Did you know there are 500,000 South Africans living in England. HOLY FUCKING SHIT !!! Half a million- thats sheer madness. Now admitedly totally our government's bad for not making things peachy for them to stay- (after all - im living in Japan simply cause of the cash im getting. As is Steve) I would gladly and lovingly teach at a school in a poor area if I could finance my futute family. Sad truth is I cant. But i do intend on returning AND i do not intend on BITCHING AND MOANING about how shit the country is. You wanna leave. Fuck off. Go. See what other places have to offer. Japan is full of shit. So is the States (everyone knows this). UK- just as messed.

Ever heard of habitat for humanity ?! They operate in SA. Why dont these wealthy punks get off their frackin PCs and take a drive down to Habitat and help build a home for someone that lives in a tent. WHy not ? Because they are probably so full of fear that they'll be shot if they enter a township. *sigh*

SA is such a great place filled with such amazing people- yet there are people everywhere who would prefer pissing on any prospect of change.

Lemme leave you with this:

A man goes away on holiday to a beautiful island paradise. On the 2nd day of his stay he tires of the hotel and decides to go for a long walk on the beach. He notices a man walking up and down the very quiet beach reaching down every now and again to pick up starfish that have washed up in the high tide. The man ignores it and continues about his business. The next few days he follows the same routine and notices the same man everynight doing the same thing.
On his last night on the island the tourist goes up to the man and says:
"Excuse me sir, ive watched you every night for the last week and ive seen you pick up these little star fish every day and throw them back in the water. Can i ask, why do you do it? "
The man replies:
" Because the high tide washes them up every night and they will suffocate"
The tourist laughs and says:
"sir- with all due respect- there are thousands of them. You cant possibly make a difference"
The man calmly bends down and picks up a starfish and flings him into the ocean and then looks at the tourist and says:

"I just made a difference to that one. "

sex and the city.

The city of Kobe that is.
If you take the time to read through my blog you may have seen one or two posts about the sexual proclivities (i seem to like that word) of my students. This wouldn't be a problem for me if:
a: I was still teaching 25 year olds or
b: I was teaching University or
c: my students were at the very, very, very least, in highschool or
d: at the very, very,very utmost bottom of the barrel -they were mentally savvy enough to maintain an emotionally and mentally stable relationship with one another.

They are none of the above. I am not a prude. I am a raving liberal when it comes to sexuality. But...i do have strong ideals about it...and yes- ideals are ideals and nothing in life is ever ideal- but for flips sake.

Again- the boys and girls like me enough to trust me with their information. New discoveries which are obviously exiciting, scary, interesting, thrilling and clearly entertaining. Im sure that at the age they are at their hormones are going MAD. (It may be made more prevelant in Japan on account of the fashion and possibly even the availability of adult entertainment).

Today one of the 2nd year boys (either 13 or at most 14) was trying to embarrass his friend by saying "kare wa ferra chu ! ferra chu ! parking de!!"
roughly translated to: "he was getting head in the parking lot!" (it just dawned on me right now as im typingthis, that he may have meant the parking lot of the cchool- *shudder* )
So what does a teacher do ? Do you say- dont do that ? Do I play the Dubya role of things and say DONT HAVE SEX ! DONT DO BAD THINGS !! You will go to hell ! The Japanese dont believe in hell. And i dont think I could come close to convincing a 14year old with hormones raging NOT to get head- lets not kid.
So what I was dissed the other kid that was shouting it out. I kept saying "dakara? " (so what?)
so what ?! So what !? All the time. Till he realised he really had no reason for telling me that information.

The girls yesterday (Akie-chan) took the liberty of pointing out two of her friends and jokingly embarrassed them by telling me they "like all touch from boy" ... "all touch ok". The friends laughed- blushed- denied it- threw it back at her....

Parents- your kids are having sex. Make bloody sure that you talk to them about it. Until some US- based religiously funded hormone suppressing drug is available on the free market our youth (and i mean YOUTH) will be partaking in activities previously thought to be reserved for adults. Talk talk talk. Make sure that they are being safe. Dont belittle them. Don't preach. Help them.

A kid said something to me the other day. Boasting about a girl he had sex with. This is a 14 (maybe 15 year) old boy. He had sex with this girl last year. He boasted that he did it without a condom. I hit him in his head. Hard. I then continued to diss him and tell him how uncool and how stupid he was to do it without.

I remember Bryan telling me something. He said: "your job here is as an assistant language teacher. You're not here for that stuff. "

I agreed at the time. And I would partially still agree with you if you believe that thats your job. But- Im in a position that no-one else is. And im in a position to change their thinking or at least add to it. So thats what im gonna do.

Onsen-age

Pronounced onsen-(edge) not age- like: "whats your age?".

Yeah. Rockin stuff. Japanese have this thing about public nakedness. They're all like: "Yeah man this shits cool" Where as we westeners are like: "Heeeeeeeeeyaall no, i wont be showing you my shit ! "

So 7 of us rocked on to Arima. To the "outdoor" onsen we had located. For those of you are not in the know an onsen is a natural hotspring. Naturally and geothermically heated to your particular liking. Now- one might wish to examine the words "natural" and " hotspring" for if images of serenity and mystical beauty, surrounded by a natural barrier of rocks and beautiful trees- cute animals prancing nearbye while naked maidens feed you gra.....no hang on thats something else. Ok...but basically works like this- only thing natural in a hotspring in Arima is the water. And according to a recent article published some places in Japan are colouring their water and just using hot tap water - the bastards.

The onsen that i saw (while incredibly quaint and small) was traditionally Arima style- its red. This is from the high iron content in the water. Its also incredibly salty (but then again- it has hundreds of men sweating in it day in and day out). I recommend the onsen experience tho. Im just wanting to track down the onsen i imagine you know. Preferably in a river-esque place somewhere- not encased in concrete. anywho..good luck there.

ps: bought a sniper rifle on the weekend- I am truly insane. (it does rock though)
pps: Its not real ok !!! (its a bb - electric powered goodness....ehehehehe)

Mid-week parties.

Bigger in Japan.

Hardly a mid-week party. Almost a week-starting party. Its quite common in Japan to engage in the practice of after-work stress release. (Commonly known to westerners as alcoholism). Basically after you've worked your measely 13 hours you then troop off to isakaya, bar or hostess club (depending on your status and position in your company). Being lowly English Senseis we opt for the bar. (Seeing that the company of a hostess alone will cost you 3000yen an hour - and thats without drinks. And thats not prime real estate either- at that rate you're more than likely to get a 38 year old korean/taiwanese refugeee. Or so my friend Bob tells me. )

So- off to the bars- on a tuesday evening. With work the next day. Needless to say it was entertaining. Hub- the "traditional English pub". Dunno what that means. But it was entertaining. ALMOST as entertaining as Mickeys bar. Mickeys has been around since ive been here. (at least 2 years) I know its been around a lot longer- but thats the extent ive known it. Its quaint. Tiny lil hole. But- decent priced drinks (decent snacks) and the best feature- its a karaoke bar. So needless to say- the bunch of us spent the rest of the night getting hammered, playing the crocodile drinking game and massacaring our favourite songs. Shame- Robs mate- bless his heart- is such a kind guy. Visiting from the sunny shores of England. Now, as nice a guy as this chap is- he sings as beautifully as my 2nd year students speak english.
Lets just say- that if rythym is a dancer- this lads dancer is Stephen Hawkins. (He also looks like Mr Bean !!! and sounds like him too !! SOOOO interesting- but as mentioned, totally overlookable factors on the basis that hes a top chap.

We also had random rounds of "Fuck, marry, kill" - Which is bound to induce bouts of one or more of the following- a: laughter, b: nausia, c: dire dread, d: fear and loathing e: las vegas.

Note to self- Kyles a top chap- must spend more time with him.

Please read below for a fully detailed description of this beautiful pic :D 

And now....for the point.......

Bigger in Japan.

Greetings all Mr Point and Mr Purpose will reveal themselves momentarily.
Ladies and gentleman to not be phased- they shall display themselves in blinding light fairly soon.
Mr Point and Mr Purpose will be with us within the next few minutes...im told.
Im sure they're coming soon.
I believe them to be on their way to revealing themselves to us within the next hour.


No. No they fucking wont.

Mr Point and Mr. Purpose have long since left the sunny shores of my English 2nd year Class1.
The task was given to the students as follows:
Name the two animals in the picture (fairly easy you'd think - what with a cute picture of a doh and a baby koala clinging to its back.)
Then..."Make your story with at least 5 sentences"

what a great idea. promoting writing and fluency and sentence composition. Great idea....until..you ask Mr Point and Mr Purpose to step into your office- they ask: "Why!?" and you say: "CAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED!" when you then go on to say:

"It may be better that you write the story in Japanese firstly" ........so..gladly and happily Mr Point and Mr Purpose are now taking a siesta on a tropical beach after having sipped on pinacolladas and perved over hot chicks in bikinis.

So what do the students do ? Rhetorical question. They write the bloody story in Japanese (for the English lesson given to them by the teacher) Then.....
see..
it gets worse.. If it was just that...
i wouldnt care. id be like- you're the dumb ass- you gave them a lame task...but
BUT
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
She then proceeds to translate the juvenile compositions and posts a nausiatingly offensive "Please write some comment" pink-mother-fuckin-post-it on the the pile of papers.

Now....
why..
why....why..why why....on this Lords very beautiful Earth filled with all things great and small- do i have to do this ?
Any comments on what im actually supposed to comment on would be most welcome- as i have no bloody idea. Do i correct her poor grammar and translation of the story ? Why must i comment on a students work if its not in English !?
WHAT
THE
FUCK
!?