Japan: The Freak Magnet.

It's my humble opinion that living in Japan outside of the secure boundaries of the JET programme can adversely affect your mental health.

Admitedlly its not the entire JET programme- bigdaikon could tell you that. ( My friend SA.Ryan put it best when he said: "I hate that site. I hate it more than nazis").

See the largest affects to your mental health (imho) happen within the city scape. Its a lot more difficuly to get away with the kind of shit one would get away in a large city, when you are in the country side. Then coupled with the fact that the JET programme has this inbuilt support system in which JETs in big cities tend to sticfk together- you get a lot less of the rampant behaviour that the Eikaiwa teachers experience.

Of course this is all largely my own opinion and subject to over zealous generalisation- but hell- its my blog.

So- two days ago whilst on the train to Yodobashi Camera in Osaka to attempt to end my Computer Nightmare (tm) [ a story for another time], I met an interesting gentleman.

Although, I wouldnt go as far as using the word gentleman.

Im on the train- about to enjoy my 30 minute sleep while I journey into osaka. Enter Stephan. A good looking, confident and loud American/British/Jamaican man (with all three passports).

"You an ALT?!" he smarks.
And the conversation started. Largely about how much he hated his current job.

Then it took a turn.

"How the Japanese ladies treating you?"

And PING! my spider sense went off tingling. He reminded me in that minute of my previous boss Bill.

"Actually, im living with my girlfriend at the moment." I responded. Driving the fact home that I was in a serious relationship.

The conversation then degenerated into past experiences (his) and how "he got that shit outta his system the first few years he was here".

"Man- I was juggling 17 at a time at one stage."

Now Bill used to do this a lot. Tell about his conquests. I dont care. Why would you tell a stranger about that? Is that cool ? Im fucking 17 women at the same time. Yay. Look- im not perfect and ive done bad things that are vaguely related to this aswell- but not like that. And- i've never ever felt inclined to tell some doës on the train about it.

So- he continues chatting. Turns out he's getting married this year. I say- well thats nice. He adds- hes getting married to two girls. Im like. Oh- well..thats interesting - trying not to go: "You realise you're insane?".
Turns out they both "love him" and they both know about each other and they both refuse to leave. He refuses to pick- so- hes marrying both.

When enquiring about the legalities of this he responded my saying he would marry them on different passports. Im not sure if this is even legal? (or possible).

Anywho- then....if that wasnt enough- the cherry on top came.

He's a smart dude. In a lot of senses. Carries himself well- but man- eyes everywhere. So like Bill it was scary. Bill and lester. He had those "lets fuck" eyes going with EVERY female he looked at. Was a bit creepy.

So, he tells me he's writing a book about his (s)exploits. Im like- wow- i was thinking about the same thing at one time just because of the crazy experiences and the affects this country has on one.

He then tells me that its def. gonna be published along with over 100 pictures. (ie: pictures of girls he's fucked).

"Man, it's wild- you dont even have to know their names."

Quality lad clearly.

And then- the crowning moment before my brain damn near exploded and went- "nice one dude- you just etched in stone that you're a cock."

"So, whats the name of your book" I politely enquire.

"Black passengers....."

"Yellow cabs."

Let'sAIDS awareness....or not.

The following is taken from the comprehension part of an entrance exam to an English geared highschool in Japan.

The English used is usually dumbed down and written much simpler than it could/should be. My gripe is not with that however.

"Do you know what AIDS is? A lot of peope are suffering from this and thousands of people are dying from this every year in the world. Many more people don't know that they suffer from AIDS and don't go to the doctor.

Tom was an office worker. One day he got very sick and went to a hosptal. The doctor told him that he was suffering from AUDS. When he got very sick, he had to stop working. He wanted to die, but decided to fight with the AIDS. One month later, he read about a 'buddying'group which sends a man or a woman helpnig AIDS patients. He called the buddying group.

Jane is helping Tom. Jane is a hospital nurse. She says, "I know many people are sfering from AIDS. I want to do something good for them. One day I heard about a buddying group. Now I belong to it. We are called 'buddies'."

Jane's father worries about her because he thinkts that Jane may catch AIDS by helping sometone who suffers from AIDS. But Jane has told him again and again that she has no problem because she has studied about it and knows many things about it.

Jane says, "People often talk about AIDS. There has been a lot of news on TV or in newspapers, but many people still don't know much about it. They should know more before they start about it."

Tom says, "Jane helps me in every way. It's good to have someone to talk with. Jane knows very much about AIDS. I can tell her many things I can't say to my friends and family. Ist it nice for every AIDS patient to have a buddy?" He also says. "I am sometimes glad I've got AIDS. I can think about my life again. I thank Jane very much because she gave me the courage to fight with AIDS".


*INSERT SUICIDE HERE* OH MY FUCKING FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My head exploded the first time I read that. Okay- yes- its the start of another Jap-rant. But lets not fucking joke.

I think this is supposed to pass off as actual "AIDS awareness" or even better yet "AIDS education".

*KILLS WRITER*

Never mind the fact that they never ever mention what AIDS is.
Never mind the fact that they never ever mention HOW you get it.
Never mind the fact that they never ever mention that if you get it- you WILL die.
Never mind the fact that they never ever mention how to prevent it.
Never mind the fact they do suggest you "should know more before they start talking about it" -
OSMOSIS MAYBE? ?!? Divine intelligence?

Fuck a duck. Im shocked into a state of drooling.

"Im sometimes glad I've got AIDS. I can think about my life again....then I realise im going to die horribly. And am not glad i've got AIDS- then I cry. "

Ive got so much more- but im hitting the keys too damn hard!!